No not the cheesy feel-good movie about nature v nurture staring Arnold Wotzisknockers and Danny DeVito, I’m talking about the very real possibility that the new life, the little bundle of rapidly differentiating cells growing inside my lovely Missus is not a bean but beans. Plural.

It’s a possibility that only occurred to me a couple of days ago but has really got me thinking. Twins would mean we’d have to come up with two names. One is hard enough (see my previous post) but two? Oh dear. What if they’re both boys? Two boy’s names? Nightmare.

Of course, with twins, the names are the least of the worries. Poor Mrs Nobody is only five foot one and very petite, carrying one baby is going to be a real trial for her let alone two and then there’s the birth, having to force two little squirming bodies out of her Super Special Sphincter would be no walk in the park.

Later of course there’s having to have two of everything. Luckily Mrs Nobody has two boobs so feeding then should be too much of problem but we’ll also need to double up up cots, car seats, clothes, toys… well you get the picture, the list is endless.

Would we dress them alike? If they’re identical twins would we be able to tell them apart? How do you avoid favouritism?

Twins. Oh my. It would be fantastic if it were, but I just hope we could cope! I guess we’ll know in about seven or eight weeks when we have our first scan!

Although it’s very much early days, we’ve been talking about names.
We both want a name that’s a little unusual. but not in a Spudulicca or Frogmella ‘it’s exotic’ kind of way, we just want a name that’s just a little less than common. We don’t want our child to be in a class at school with half a dozen kids with the same name but at the same time we don’t want his or her name to be so freaky that it gets them picked upon.
Girls names are easy. There are possibly six or eight names I like and the same for Mrs Nobody with maybe four or five overlapping. We both want Elizabeth as a middle name because it’s my Mum’s name and Mrs Nobody’s Mum’s middle name. We both like grace too, but it’s becoming increasingly common at the moment so we’re not so sure anymore and the same goes for Rose or Rosie which was always the name I’ve had earmarked for years for my first little girl. Having a pet Parrot a few years ago called Rosie put paid to that though.
The name we’re both gravitating toward is ‘Temperance’. It’s unusual but not freaky, it works as both a child’s name and also sounds classy on an adult. It has a cute short version in ‘Tempy.’
Much as I want our little bean to be a girl though, I have a feeling it’s going to be a boy and we’re having real trouble trying to think of a boys name we both like.
Boy’s names are a lot harder to get right because there’s a lot more to consider. It has to sound right for a child but also work for an adult. It has to be masculine but not macho and has to be as ‘bully’s nickname’-proof as possible. I quite like the name Gabriel, but I wouldn’t want my son to have to go through school being called gay for short!
Of course both have to avoid names that remind us of people in our past that we’d rather forget and we can’t give him the same name as another family member or friend without looking like we’re naming our child after them!
Personally I also dislike obvious Celtic names for anyone who isn’t actually from Ireland. I don’t know why. So that’s Connor, Reece, Callum etc out of the running.
I dislike what I think of as ‘standard’ names too. John for example. I always think that it sounds like the parents couldn’t think of a name so they went with the default. It’s like calling a dog Rex or a parrot Polly.
Honestly we’re at a bit of a loss for a boys name, let’s hope it’s a girl!

At 5:30am this morning, Mrs Nobody awoke to find the strangest of sensations in her abdomen. She says that It’s kind of hard to describe, like lots of little tuggy twinges.
We decided to do a test. A few moments later, in the not-so-soft glow of the bathroom lighting, a very faint pink line began to emerge.
Later that morning, as soon as the shops opened I nipped across to Sainsburys and grabbed a First Response Early Result test.
MOMENT OF TRUTH!
When I got back from the shop with the requested hardware Mrs Nobody dashed off to the bathroom with fingers and toes crossed. 3 minutes have never passed so slowly, but suddenly there it was. One pregnancy test strip with two solid pink lines proudly displayed in the result window.
Cue us running around the house with the biggest grins ever!

We’re going to have a baby.

We’re going to have a BABY!

Gosh.

Saying and writing it feels so weird. Gosh.

Some kind of exhaustion has hit Mrs Nobody. She says she feels like she’s about to go into hibernation, or perhaps a coma.
Is this the well-known 1st trimester tiredness? Have we beaten the odd and got pregnant first try?
There are other, more ‘personal’ indications that look promising too. A certain tenderness in certain bodyparts that only ladies have.
We gave in and did a test yesterday which came out negative. Not really surprising as Mrs Nobody is only nine days post-ovulation today, but we couldn’t resist all the same. We promise not to test again until Monday. Oh, but it’s so bloody tempting!

We’ve started trying for a baby.
Mrs Nobody ovulated 2 days ago and the deed was dutifully done for a couple of days each side of egg-laying day.
Now comes the infamous ‘Two Week Wait’ while we wait too see if one of my little soldiers has managed to breech the defences, join forces with the locals and begin a nine-month occupation of Uteronia.
We bought a metric duck-load of NHS early pregnancy tests online last month in preparation. They’re very very sensitive to the pregnancy hormone and if the hormone is there is should be detectable after only 2 weeks.
Obviously we’re REALLY not expecting a positive after such a short time trying but you never know!